Artist D. Lee Will and Hall, who previously painted Queen Elizabeth herself, decides to immortalize Meghan and Harry in oil. Sounds great, right? A chance for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to be portrayed in all their regal glory. Well, hold on to your fascinators, because this portrait is about as flattering as a funhouse mirror.

Let’s start with Meghan, shall we? Our girl Meg has been painted as the White Queen. Now, for those of you who slept through your history lessons, the White Queen refers to Elizabeth Woodville, the wife of Edward IV. Being compared to Elizabeth Woodville is about as much of a compliment as being told you look great for your age. Elizabeth Woodville wasn’t exactly considered prime royal spouse material back in the day. She was an outsider, about as welcome in the royal court as a fox in a henhouse. Sound familiar? It’s like the artist took one look at Meghan’s Wikipedia page and thought, “Yep, that tracks.” But here’s the kicker: the nickname “White Queen” comes from the white rose symbol of the House of York. Last time I checked, Meghan’s family crest didn’t include any roses, white or otherwise, unless you count the time she pricked her finger on a rose thorn and declared it a hate crime against American actresses.

Now, let’s talk about Harry. Oh, Harry, Harry, Harry. If you thought Meghan got the short end of the paintbrush, wait till you hear this. Our ginger prince has been portrayed as Bunny Prince Charlie. Yes, you heard that right, Bonnie Prince Charlie, the guy who led a failed rebellion and ended up living in exile.

It’s like the artist looked at Harry’s life choices and thought, “You know what, this tracks too.” But let’s be real for a second, if you didn’t tell me that blob of paint was supposed to be Harry, I would have thought it was some random sailor who got lost on his way to the New World. It’s about as accurate a portrayal of Harry as those wax figures at Madame Tussauds after they’ve been left out in the sun too long.

Now, the artist claims that this is all part of a collection of portraits inspired by the royal family throughout history. But let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? This isn’t inspiration, this is straight-up trolling. It’s like the artist sat down and thought, “How can I make these two look as ridiculous as possible while still technically calling it art?” And you know what? I’m here for it. Because let’s face it, Meghan and Harry have been serving us nothing but cringe on a silver platter for years now. It’s about time someone gave them a taste of their own medicine.

But here’s where it gets really interesting. The portraits are supposed to reflect Meghan and Harry’s status as royal outcasts. Excuse me, outcasts? Last time I checked, being an outcast meant you were kicked out against your will.

Meghan and Harry didn’t get kicked out; they flounced out in a huff when they realized being royal actually involved work and not just wearing tiaras and waving at peasants. It’s like they’re trying to rewrite history faster than Meghan can say “my truth.” They’re not outcasts; they’re voluntary exiles. They’re the kids who quit the game because they didn’t like the rules, and now they’re crying because no one wants to play with them anymore.

And let’s talk about this outcast narrative for a second, shall we? Because I’m starting to think Meghan might have commissioned this portrait herself. I mean, think about it. Who else would be so desperate to paint themselves as the misunderstood outsider? It’s like she’s trying to gaslight us into forgetting how the entire world bent over backward to welcome her into the royal family.

Remember when Meghan first came on the scene? The press was falling over themselves to praise her. She was going to be the breath of fresh air the royal family needed, the one to modernize the monarchy, to bring it into the 21st century. It was all Meghan this and Meghan that. Youget the idea. Meghan was hailed as the savior of the monarchy, and now she wants us to believe she’s an outcast? Sorry, not buying it.

In the end, this controversial portrait is just another chapter in the ongoing saga of Meghan and Harry’s quest for relevance. They’re desperate to stay in the spotlight, even if it means playing the victim card and commissioning bizarre portraits that make them look like characters from a historical soap opera.

So, what do you think of this latest royal drama? Is the portrait a clever commentary on Meghan and Harry’s self-imposed exile, or is it just a desperate cry for attention?