Meghan Markle, the Duchess of drama herself, has apparently been caught screaming that she’s the new Princess Diana. I mean, talk about delusions of grandeur! It’s like me claiming I’m the new Shakespeare because I can string a few sentences together. Come on, Meghan.

According to Tom Bower, our resident Royal gossip digger, Meghan got a taste of the spotlight during her Australian tour and suddenly thought she was the second coming of Diana. It’s like she took one bite of a Vegemite sandwich and decided she was the Queen of Hearts.

But here’s the kicker: Meghan was apparently miffed that she was subservient to Kate in the Royal pecking order. Well, excuse me, Your Highness, but that’s monarchy for you. It’s not a democracy where you can campaign your way to the top.

You can’t just waltz in, marry the spare, and expect to leapfrog over the future Queen. That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works.

And let’s talk about this new Diana business. Look, I get it. Diana was beloved. She was the people’s princess. But you can’t just declare yourself the new version of someone else. It’s not like there’s a princess factory churning out Diana 2.0. Diana was unique. She was special. And frankly, Meghan, you’re no Diana.

But wait, there’s more. Apparently, our Duchess of delusion was also green with envy over Victoria Beckham’s wealth. I mean, really? You marry into the British royal family and you’re worried about keeping up with Posh Spice? That’s like winning the lottery and being jealous of your neighbor’s new car.

Oh, and let’s not forget, this is all coming from the woman who claimed she wanted privacy. Privacy? Yeah, here she is allegedly screaming about being the new Diana and sulking over the Beckhams’ wealth. It’s like saying you’re on a diet while face-planting into a triple chocolate cake. The hypocrisy is enough to make your head spin.

But you know what really gets me? It’s the sheer audacity of it all. Meghan walks into the royal family, decides it’s not to her liking, and flounces off to California with Harry in tow. And now she’s upset that she’s not as wealthy as the Beckhams? Cry me a river, sweetheart. Actually, don’t – we’ve got enough flooding problems in the UK as it is.

And poor Harry in all this. He’s like a puppet on a string, dancing to Meghan’s tune. He’s gone from being the cheeky, lovable prince to, well, whatever he is now – a shadow of his former self, spouting off about living authentically while his wife apparently dreams of being his dead mother. It’s not just sad, it’s downright creepy.

But let’s get back to this Diana comparison because it’s not just disrespectful to Diana’s memory, it’s downright delusional. Diana earned her place in people’s hearts. She worked tirelessly for charitable causes. She connected with people on a genuine level. She wasn’t out there trying to be someone else or competing with other celebrities. She was just Diana.

Meghan, on the other hand, seems to be playing a role – the hard-done-by royal, the misunderstood Duchess, the voice of a generation. But here’s the thing – we can see right through it. It’s as transparent as the Emperor’s New Clothes and about as convincing.

And let’s not forget, Diana never chose to leave the royal family. She was thrust out, yes, but she never abandoned her duties. She continued to work for her charities, to be there for William and Harry. Meghan? She couldn’t get out of Britain fast enough. She was like Cinderella in reverse, turning her glass slipper into a pumpkin and high-tailing it back to LA.

But you know what’s really ironic? In trying so hard to be Diana, Meghan is actually becoming the antithesis of everything Diana stood for. Diana was loved because she was genuine, because she cared. Meghan? Well, she seems to care a lot about Meghan.